Blech.
My head is pounding and my ears are ringing. Thanks for sending that, Uxi,
and thanks for pointing out that that existed, Mario. While I will say
some things below about not wanting to read it, I am grateful that when
there is evidence out there that I lived on this planet and spoke with
people I have the chance to see it and be reminded of things I had
forgotten. Whether I enjoy it or not, the truth is the truth and I wish to
be informed by the truth.
I read down a little bit and saw some stuff I still don't remember.
I do remember the "going on survival rations" part. We called it
"Operation Mudfish," inspired by a French operation in Chad, I think, but
I didn't remember that period until I just read about it. That would have
been the period after the doctrine development project got shot out of the
saddle by ATSC and before our first distance learning contract.
(During the late doctrine development period I do have the separate memory
of the last time I ever spoke to Paul Brunette, recounted elsewhere.)
I don't remember talking to anyone about TNE in 1997 (except Brunette,
above). Clearly I did. We had been building the doctrine development site
for the Armor School around this time (95-96-97), and the WWW was still
newish. Either I stumbled across me, or someone else in the office said,
"hey Dave, your name keeps showing up over here." I don't remember hearing
that Marc was asking around about EW, although I do remember that no one
ever contacted me to ask. I don't remember sending e-mails out to follow
up which "disappeared behind a black curtain."
I see that I was testy and irritable and got into a "he said/he said" with
Harold which was unnecessary.
I also see direct evidence there of what I said in reply to Jim a couple
days ago, "where there is a grain of truth..."
And I guess I owe Harold another apology beyond the one about Children of
Earth I mentioned recently, which is "Yeah, Harold, maybe I was going
through my own personal hell, sorry for trying to contradict you on that."
Probably no one likes evidence of people speculating about them out of
earshot (it's natural, we all do it, meaning no harm); obviously I didn't.
Oscar Wilde supposedly said (via Monty Python, my main source of news),
"the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
To which I respond, "Are you sure?"
I think that part of living through sub-optimal things is keeping your own
morale up by telling yourself your morale is good until it gets a chance
to improve. And maybe another part of that is that those experiences are
in a raw part of your brain that gets boxed up, nailed closed, and shoved
into a far back corner. That's maybe an interesting data point, but like I
said earlier, I probably don't want to be a test subject.
I did not read any further, I don't want to re-live that any more. 1991-95
is good, 1997, not so much.
Mario, Uxi, seriously, thanks. Uxi, I try to maintain a sense of humor
about myself, so I have to ask: In saving that for the last 16 years or
so, what folder did you have it saved in, "Epic Personality Meltdowns?"
:-)
Finally, one last scientific observation (since I am a test subject, like
it or not). My observations above remind me of why I don't want to read
the 1248 material. Memory is a tricky thing, and if I can avoid muddying
up the ones I've got left, that's probably prudent.
I'm going to get some aspirin and feed the dogs.
> Thanks. I already have the COTI one from Loren.
>
> ....
>
> HOLY COW. 1997?
>
> I have no recollection of that at all. Obviously that guy talks like me,
so it happened. But until I saw that I would have sworn up and down that
between 1995 and the 2004 COTI command performance I had spoken
privately
> to Loren, spoken privately to MJD, and booted the SJG Aliens module and
that was it. And then they would have thrown me in jail for perjury.
>
> This will be interesting, and perhaps provides data on the psychology of
how a test subject files memories of things he is helpless to do
anything
> about. God, I hate being a test subject.
>
> This ain't "Designer's Notes" either...I may wind up being sorry I
brought
> this up.
>
>> I put it up at masteruxi.net/traveller/DAVEARCH.TXT.
>> I think I have the COTI one Loren put up, too, if you need that. - Sent
from my SM-N900T
>> On Mar 26, 2014 11:09 AM, <> wrote:
>>> Uxi--
>>> If time permits, if you could send me a link to them or a ZIP, or
whatever
>>> is easy, I would appreciate it.
>>> I'm collecting notes for my opus, "Everything I know about life I
learned
>>> at GDW." :-)
>>> Dave
>>> > I saved them, if noone else did
>>> >
>>> > - Sent from my SM-N900T
>>> > On Mar 25, 2014 8:51 PM, "Eamon Watters" <>
>>> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> Which are lost to the ether, I think...
>>> >>
>>> >> Sent from my iPad
>>> >>
>>> >> On 25 Mar 2014, at 22:12, Mario Butter
>>> <>
>>> >> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> He may have been referring to the long series of posts that you
>>> wrote
>>> on
>>> >> my TNE-RCES mailing list years ago.
>>> >>
>>> >> --
>>> >> Mario
>>> >>
>>> >> http://mario.silent-tower.org/
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 1:40 AM, <> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> TNEers--
>>> >>>
>>> >>> I saw on a board over the weekend some guy said, "Nilsen wrote in
>>> his
>>> >>> designer's notes that..."
>>> >>>
>>> >>> I don't remember any TNE designer's notes. Did I write some? If
so,
>>> >>> where?
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Thanks,
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Dave
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >
>
>
My head is pounding and my ears are ringing. Thanks for sending that, Uxi,
and thanks for pointing out that that existed, Mario. While I will say
some things below about not wanting to read it, I am grateful that when
there is evidence out there that I lived on this planet and spoke with
people I have the chance to see it and be reminded of things I had
forgotten. Whether I enjoy it or not, the truth is the truth and I wish to
be informed by the truth.
I read down a little bit and saw some stuff I still don't remember.
I do remember the "going on survival rations" part. We called it
"Operation Mudfish," inspired by a French operation in Chad, I think, but
I didn't remember that period until I just read about it. That would have
been the period after the doctrine development project got shot out of the
saddle by ATSC and before our first distance learning contract.
(During the late doctrine development period I do have the separate memory
of the last time I ever spoke to Paul Brunette, recounted elsewhere.)
I don't remember talking to anyone about TNE in 1997 (except Brunette,
above). Clearly I did. We had been building the doctrine development site
for the Armor School around this time (95-96-97), and the WWW was still
newish. Either I stumbled across me, or someone else in the office said,
"hey Dave, your name keeps showing up over here." I don't remember hearing
that Marc was asking around about EW, although I do remember that no one
ever contacted me to ask. I don't remember sending e-mails out to follow
up which "disappeared behind a black curtain."
I see that I was testy and irritable and got into a "he said/he said" with
Harold which was unnecessary.
I also see direct evidence there of what I said in reply to Jim a couple
days ago, "where there is a grain of truth..."
And I guess I owe Harold another apology beyond the one about Children of
Earth I mentioned recently, which is "Yeah, Harold, maybe I was going
through my own personal hell, sorry for trying to contradict you on that."
Probably no one likes evidence of people speculating about them out of
earshot (it's natural, we all do it, meaning no harm); obviously I didn't.
Oscar Wilde supposedly said (via Monty Python, my main source of news),
"the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
To which I respond, "Are you sure?"
I think that part of living through sub-optimal things is keeping your own
morale up by telling yourself your morale is good until it gets a chance
to improve. And maybe another part of that is that those experiences are
in a raw part of your brain that gets boxed up, nailed closed, and shoved
into a far back corner. That's maybe an interesting data point, but like I
said earlier, I probably don't want to be a test subject.
I did not read any further, I don't want to re-live that any more. 1991-95
is good, 1997, not so much.
Mario, Uxi, seriously, thanks. Uxi, I try to maintain a sense of humor
about myself, so I have to ask: In saving that for the last 16 years or
so, what folder did you have it saved in, "Epic Personality Meltdowns?"
:-)
Finally, one last scientific observation (since I am a test subject, like
it or not). My observations above remind me of why I don't want to read
the 1248 material. Memory is a tricky thing, and if I can avoid muddying
up the ones I've got left, that's probably prudent.
I'm going to get some aspirin and feed the dogs.
> Thanks. I already have the COTI one from Loren.
>
> ....
>
> HOLY COW. 1997?
>
> I have no recollection of that at all. Obviously that guy talks like me,
so it happened. But until I saw that I would have sworn up and down that
between 1995 and the 2004 COTI command performance I had spoken
privately
> to Loren, spoken privately to MJD, and booted the SJG Aliens module and
that was it. And then they would have thrown me in jail for perjury.
>
> This will be interesting, and perhaps provides data on the psychology of
how a test subject files memories of things he is helpless to do
anything
> about. God, I hate being a test subject.
>
> This ain't "Designer's Notes" either...I may wind up being sorry I
brought
> this up.
>
>> I put it up at masteruxi.net/traveller/DAVEARCH.TXT.
>> I think I have the COTI one Loren put up, too, if you need that. - Sent
from my SM-N900T
>> On Mar 26, 2014 11:09 AM, <> wrote:
>>> Uxi--
>>> If time permits, if you could send me a link to them or a ZIP, or
whatever
>>> is easy, I would appreciate it.
>>> I'm collecting notes for my opus, "Everything I know about life I
learned
>>> at GDW." :-)
>>> Dave
>>> > I saved them, if noone else did
>>> >
>>> > - Sent from my SM-N900T
>>> > On Mar 25, 2014 8:51 PM, "Eamon Watters" <>
>>> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> Which are lost to the ether, I think...
>>> >>
>>> >> Sent from my iPad
>>> >>
>>> >> On 25 Mar 2014, at 22:12, Mario Butter
>>> <>
>>> >> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> He may have been referring to the long series of posts that you
>>> wrote
>>> on
>>> >> my TNE-RCES mailing list years ago.
>>> >>
>>> >> --
>>> >> Mario
>>> >>
>>> >> http://mario.silent-tower.org/
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 1:40 AM, <> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> TNEers--
>>> >>>
>>> >>> I saw on a board over the weekend some guy said, "Nilsen wrote in
>>> his
>>> >>> designer's notes that..."
>>> >>>
>>> >>> I don't remember any TNE designer's notes. Did I write some? If
so,
>>> >>> where?
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Thanks,
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Dave
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >
>
>